Friday, January 2, 2015


Can it really be
that I won´t ever see her smile again?
or hear her tell me a joke?
make me Lebanese coffee
talk about the ¨great nation¨
choose a scarf for me
dazzle me with her 20-second make-up routine
paint a picture
write something that takes my breath away
tease her brother or sister
love on all of us
cook her glorious creations
or throw her head back and laugh?

Can it really be
that I won´t ever see her fall in love?
have children?
study in Paris for her Masters
come home for Christmas
travel to faraway places
be her siblings´counselor
be her parents´ counselor
take care of us when we´re old
see her change the world
use her languages & amazing life experiences thus far
love Jesus in this generational context?

Can it really be
that I cannot stare at her rare beauty
and ponder her equally profound inner jewels?
share conversations & secrets
and equally comfortable silences
go shopping together
laugh & cry over a movie or novel
repeat inside jokes til the tears stream
have mate by the beach
get angry over injustices
tear up over a heroic kindndess
treasure her amazing mixture of passionate & crazy?

Can it really be
that I won´t  ever see her
be her Dad´s compañera in travel again?
her sister´s confidante?
her brother´s inspiration?
her mother´s first love-child?

Can it really be?

Photo by: Joe ¨The Suspension of Disbelief¨


  1. this is beautiful and poignant. my heart aches imagining your loss and identifying with the feelings you expressed in my own losses. there are no answers. thank you for your questions.

  2. Our minds race with moments that could have... should have been and treasured memories of a girl that stoled all of our hearts.