Sunday, September 30, 2018


There are so many broken pieces of me.
They have been harshly shattered.
Fractured by wave after wave of grief,
ground into the floor by pain,
covered with darkness by depression,
soaked by tears.

And so there they have lain, distant and disconnected from the few left intact.
Yet occasionally, rays of light penetrated...
They pierced darkness, disregarded the chaos and flittered around pieces like translucent dragonflies.
The tears sparkled and there was a sort of sacred beauty...
I wanted more of that.

Love persistently & steadily shone light down over sharp edges,
Comfort ministered gentle healing,
Hope carefully & respectfully turned over each piece,
studying it, believing it still had a place, a purpose, even a new story.
Grace picked one up and carefully found its original spot.
Against weak protest, it put it in place again with Gilead´s balm.
And slowly, ever so slowly,
Gently, ever so gently,
My broken pieces are being gathered.
They are being healed, are being put into place again.
It is taking so much time - more than I ever thought possible.
More time than a lot of people think it should take.
But healing time is in the hands of the Wonderful Counselor,
of the Good Shepherd, of the One who is near to the brokenhearted.

The Japanese have a surprising art form for mending broken items: Kintsugi ¨golden joinery¨ or Kintsukuroi ¨golden repair.¨  This centuries old art of fixing broken pottery fascinates me in my own brokenness.  When a ceramic piece is broken, it is repaired with a lacquer dusted with gold or with liquid gold. Beautiful seams of gold glint in the cracks of ceramic ware, giving a unique appearance to the piece.  Every repaired piece is unique because of the randomness of the shatters. This practice, this art, highlights and enhances the breaks thus adding value to the broken object.

Wabi-sabi is a world view (of which Kintsugi is a part) and is centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection.  The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is imperfect, impermanent and incomplete.¨  (Welcome to my world!)

Isn´t that stunning? It also sounds like the world view of a God who loves, restores, redeems and heals gently, shows us beauty in the process and then holds us up to the world, saying, ¨Look at this beautiful piece of art! See those broken veins? They are its most valuable part - they are filled with gold!¨ Our scars actually become the showcase piece.

There are so many broken pieces...

Photo: Unknown. Pictured on
Info on Kintsugi from Wikipedia and

Friday, January 19, 2018

LET THERE BE LIGHT (The Journey Out Of Depression)

¨And God said, ´Let there be light,´ and there was light

Genesis 1:3

Let there be light
where there has been darkness
Let there be truth
where there have been lies
Let there be joy
where there has been sadness.

Let there be energy
where there has been exhaustion
Let there be insight
where there has been confusion
Let there be laughter
where there have been tears.

Let there be freedom
where there has been captivity
Let there be peace
Where there has been anxiety
Let there be vision
where there have been shadows.

Let there be outings
where there has been hiding
Let there be concentration
where there has been murkiness
Let there be humor
where there has been moodiness.

Let there be openness
where there has been protectiveness
Let there be caring
where there has been self-preservation
Let there be thriving
where there was only surviving.

Let there be healing
where there has been pain
Let there be resilience
where there has been fragility
Let there be constancy
where there has been instability.

Let there be strength
where there has been weakness
Let there be conviction
where there has been uncertainty
Let there be metamorphosis
where there has been stagnancy.

Let there be movement
where there has been paralysis
Let there be colors
where there has only been black & white
Let there be life
where there was only ash.

Let there be music
where there was only silence
Let there be celebration
where there was only a dirge
Let there be praises
where there were only laments.

Let there be, 
Oh, let there be!
in this sacred exodus
an embracing
of all these good things.

¨O send out Your light and Your truth, let them lead me...¨
Psalm 43:3

¨the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth...¨
Ephesians 5:9

Photo by: Iamdogjunkie

Friday, December 15, 2017


Christmas is a welcoming. 
The welcoming of a season.
Christmas is an embracing. 
The embracing of deeper meaning.
Christmas is a gathering.  
The gathering of loved ones & those needing love.

Christmas is a remembering. 
The remembering of God incarnate.
Christmas is a cherishing. 
The cherishing of rich symbolism.
Christmas is a receiving.  
The receiving of a great gift.

Christmas is an honoring.  
The honoring of a moment that marked history.
Christmas is an enfolding. 
The enfolding of tradition into today.
Christmas is a praying. 
The praying of Christmas for all peoples.

Christmas is an embodying.  
The embodying of Christ among all of us.
Christmas is a returning. 
The returning each year to mystery.
Christmas is a welcoming. 
The welcoming of this season.

Photo by: Thomas

Monday, December 4, 2017


She was our keel.
That stabilizing, balancing, solid piece to our family.
Placed in between two parents and two siblings, she intuitively counterbalanced so many things.
Just like the lengthwise wood or steel structure along the base of the ship,
she helped support the framework that was us.
She was gifted in helping us understand each other,
She was gifted in helping us understand our own selves.

As the oldest, she helped parents understand the kids and kids the parents.
She often gave her Dad and I keen insights into parenting.
She could talk her dramatic siblings off a cliff, out of a fight or up from a bad day.
She cheered her sister in life and pioneered paths for the two of them.
She could talk the youngest of the family into being years older than he was.

Without a keel, we are destabilized.
We don´t know how to relate, to react.
This lack of equilibrium has unended us.
We are lost, disoriented without her.

She made us laugh, compete, converse, yearn for honesty and deepen our empathy for one another.
She was designated mediator, coach and family diplomat.
We miss this steadying piece to our family.
Her aplomb and poise was a genuine gift -
a gift to us, a gift to the world.

She was our keel!
That stabilizing, balancing, solid piece to our family.
Oh Captain, please help us find our sense of balance again.
Help us recalibrate and find a new symmetry that works for us.
Don´t let us be afraid when we get toppled but to rebound & keep trying to find our center.
How important it is in this season to learn this new balancing act.
How important to recognize it will not look the same - for we are all different now.
She was our keel, O God.
But You are still our anchor forever.

¨We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.¨

Hebrews 6:17

Photo by: ZZ Bottom

Wednesday, November 29, 2017


Is there a place
where love truly reigns?
a kingdom without war or terror or disease or poverty or famine?
Is there a place where children are happy
where women are safe
where men are courageous?
Is there a place?

Is there a place
where laughter and smiles rule?
where music and poetry flow
art and literature heal
and all people are considered beautiful?
Is there a place?

Is there a place
where nature is pure?
natural is untouched
wild is left wild
colors are original
and the water is always clear and perfect?
Is there a place?

Is there a place
with no need for politics?
or laws or prisons or police
where there are no judges
and no law breakers
and no end to good deeds?
Is there a place?

Is there a place
with liberty and beauty?
ethnic dances and harmonious tribes
languages and cultures mixed
in perfect surrender and respect?
Is there a place?

Is there a place
where there are no worries or cares?
no anxiety or mental illness
no addiction and no crime
no pain and no regrets?
Is there a place?

Is there a place
where we can all agree?
and shout and laugh and dance and toast
that all is well
and as it should be?
Is there a place?

Is there a place
where there will be One God?
and the rest will be ¨under God¨
and there will be no others to mock?
Is there a place?

Is there a place
of rest and joy and perfect health?
of family and community and love
of all things bright
and all things beautiful?
Is there a place?

Is there a place
to finally see Jesus
in His rightful place
without disagreement?
to finally see Jesus
without a veil?
to finally see Jesus
as He truly is?
Is there a place?

There is such a place
it is written.
It is longed for by pilgrims
throughout time
who do not count this world as their home.
and I am waiting
for that place.

¨...they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one.  
Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God.¨ 

Hebrews 11:16

Photo by:

Saturday, November 25, 2017

WHAT IF? (Seeing Our Kids With Heavenly Eyes)

What if I could see into His heart for them and how it absolutely throbs and explodes?
What if I could see into the tomorrows and see the happy ending?
What if I could truly believe that love and truth will win?
What if I could see that their strength is found in the struggle like the butterfly emerging from its cocoon to fly?

What if I could see all the plans and angels and strategies aligned in our favor?
What if I could hear the victory music playing right now?
What if I could see the ways He plans to deepen my raw trust and understanding of Him?
What if I could smell the fragrant perfume that will be produced to alert others: Jesus is Here?

What if I could see how their minds were sharpened through this deep thought process and how their own doubts will make them both accessible and thoughtful with other skeptics?
What if I could see how their hearts were bonded to the work and beauty of the Father through their journey?
What if I could see how their souls were healed in ways nothing but honest wrestling could have brought about?

What if I could taste the sweetness of their lives as they impact this world?
What if I could sense the joy and unity in our family of having weathered this terrible storm and having been healed?
What if I could see Jenna´s face and see by her contented, peaceful expression that she and Jesus knew all along that this was the plan?

What if I could see the myriad of things being built into the kingdom as fruit of our struggle?
What if I could see those who will find help and healing in our story?
What if I could see all the amazing and beautiful things God has planned for our good?
What if I could see...?

And what if I could live as if I could see all that by faith?
What if I could rest in this wrestling?
What if I could just live in His love and creative plans?
What if I could just trust His unseen activity?
What if I could just pray as if I already had the answers?
What if I could live like that?
Can I live like that?
What if...?

Photo by:  Babybluebbw

Tuesday, November 21, 2017


You are the One who slays giants
who buffets my monsters
who refutes lies
and weeps over wounds.

You are the One who breathes strength
into childlike efforts
empowers my best intentions
and looks beyond results to motives.

You are the One who sees the future
and lays out the beats of my heart
You knowingly arrange courses & paths
to prepare and train my soul.

You are the One who stations angels
arranges heaven in mystical appointments
who puts a shield over my heart
and a band of truth around my mind.

You are the One who redeems the hopeless
who dreams up the most unlikely
who operates counterintuitively
and who executes the impossible.

You are the One who has always been with me
the One whose tears are the same salty as mine
You sit patiently and ponder with me
You are not uncomfortable with my silence.

You sing songs & speak secrets in the night
You share counsel as the morning dawns
You walk ahead, behind and beside
Your love is quiet and compelling.

You are the One who has always shown up
to bring provision at critical moments
to creatively pursue my heart
or to just be near.

You are the One who grounds me
You are the One who has taught me love & truth
You steadfastly anchor me
You are the One.

Photo by:  Flora Mutata