LIKE A BRUISED REED

Like a bruised reed

my trust bends,

struggling to straighten.

It has been hit many times,

knocked over in its tenderness,

swept under in spite of its fierce intention.

Yet it continues to vulnerably battle -

to believe, to appropriate, to strength train;

It longs for new faith to rise up in victory.

Believing used to be easy

After tragedy, it was work

Not exactly mistrust...

for I trust His character.

But the shocking phenomenon of so many paradoxes

complicating my understanding and faith...

these have rocked my world.

Prayer is not what I thought -

not just because I didn´t get what I most wanted

But because thousands of others could not change His mind.

Faith is not what I thought - 

it is so much more than the mustard seed

more than the motive,

more than the perseverance,

more than the love.

Healing is not what I thought

It feels random because we cannot see into those realms -

Realms where the bigger kingdom picture is clear

realms where heaven and earth meet

realms we cannot pierce in our humanity.

Some are not healed with all the faith in the world

While others are healed with a single prayer.

God has the right.

But I am perplexed.

Why are some people´s mountains moved and mine not?

Why do some people suffer so much and others hardly at all?

Why do some people "just believe" and proclaim

While others do the same thing and nothing changes?

God has the right.

But I am troubled.

Paradoxes of healing and faith

of prayer and miracles

of my part & God´s part

of asking for what He promises...

but perhaps not receiving it literally,

perhaps not how you expect,

perhaps not even at all...

at least that you can see.

Paradoxes bewilder me

and they have nagged at my foundation.

Oh, Lord! Build my trust reed & let it grow!

Help me to accept the presence 
of both promises & paradoxes,

of simplicity and ambiguity

of certainties and enigmas

of clarity and mystery.

Many things are unclear
but I choose to trust you -
your love, your plans, your grace.
My trust may be a bit ragged,
somewhat fragmented,
even broken in places
but it is there -
I place it in the mystery that is You.
You know best
You deliver what is right,
no matter what it looks like
or feels like
or sounds like
or seems like.
You do all things well.

My trust, like a bruised reed,
calls out to You.

"A bruised reed he will not break,

and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.

In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;

till he establishes justice on earth..."

Isaiah 42:3,4

Photo by: Ron

LORD, BE MY DEFAULT

Lord, be my default.

I want emotional triggers to take me to You, 

Not to anger or frustration or self-centeredness or other places that are not Your will for me.

Please work Your love & holiness deeper into my heart through dedication to renew my mind.

Protect me from choosing things that take away from my relationship with you.

Protect my mind from fear or worry that arise from today´s prevalent, pommeling information.

Protect my soul from going to dark places with the negative news.

Shine your light on my path - "Your Word is a lamp to my feet, a light to my path."

I need Your truth to ground me and to guide me.

Protect my body from defaulting to laziness because things are not ideal under quarantine.

Remind me of its purpose as a temple of the Holy Spirit.

Give me patience in the waiting & the changing uncertainty from day to day.

Give me flexibility in my work, projects that change daily & require extra work.

Remind me that my service & work is for You & for others You love. 

Show me what you are doing so I can join you...

Reveal to me the work of my hands -

Let me love & celebrate each positive change;

Guide me to know how to navigate this new time.

They say things will never be the same again.

So please give us not just wisdom, but revelation.

As for your people, help us to be ready for what it so come

Fill us with compassion & action for those suffering economically, educationally

Give us wisdom as politicians wax eloquently but most often misleadingly

Give us love & passion to pray for all to be ready for these new times.

Give us creativity, freshness, renewed ideas for these times to show you, Jesus.

Help us to work less but to give more meaningfully

Help us to be ready -

to be who You want us to be post-quarantine;

for life is different;

give us Your mind to see how we should move forward.  

Help us to be ready as Your church, Lord Jesus.

May You be exalted as we "be still and know You are God." (Ps 46:10)

Lord, please be my default;

I want everything in me to lead to You.

And to the extension of your kingdom.

Photo:  Marco Herrera

THE PLACE OF CREATIVITY (during COVID-19)

The world has been shaken -

The health care world,

The business world & our economy,

Forms of education,

Methods of work,

Ways of meeting for faith groups,

Connection between friends & family,

There are gripping stories for each of these -

of suffering, of sadness, of loss, of perseverance, 

of boredom & loneliness, anxiety about the future, 

of long hours & long days.

But one thing has triumphed: Creativity!

We have seen nurses creating comfort out of mere cotton balls,

businesses learning new tools & pushing forward under incredible odds,

educators having to change tactics & work under incredible uncertainty,

people giving of their talents to bring cheer & enhance community,

and confinement has given many of us time to try & create some new hobby -

something maybe we´ve wanted to do for a long time but now finally have the time for - 

& no excuses!

Creativity is a gift from God.

He is the ultimate Creator of all things wonderful.

The power of his very word formed, crafted, painted, 

gave unimaginable colors to flora & fauna.

He designed, shaped, fashioned & composed.

He created things for all five of our senses.

The human capacity to create under duress has struck me.

And I wonder...

What new expressions will emerge from this time?

What new expressions will come from you?

Which ones will come from me?

Creating can be a powerful outlet for hidden emotions.

Creating can be an impressive energetic force in fatigue, depression and trauma.

Creating for some is a relaxing way to spend some free time,

While others create for a living.

The most powerful art I have experienced has come from a very deep place.

It cannot be faked.

Pure joy cannot be fully expressed unless one has known despair.

Light cannot be conveyed unless one has first known darkness.

Tones, nuances, subtleties in dance, music & art in all its forms are impossible

without reaching into a deep-seated place.

Beauty like that resonates like a soulmate within you when you encounter it.

So, what will this pandemic produce?

What have we experienced in lockdown?

Have you thought about it, talked about it, written it down, perhaps?

Have you noticed changes in yourself and payed attention to others around you?

Or have you put your head down & pushed yourself to work through it?

We have been given a gift of time...a special time that we will never forget.

Let´s not waste it.

We need to change.

Our communities need it. Our governments need it. Our world needs it.

The fact that this human lockdown has literally healed parts of the planet such as the natural purification of Venice´s canals or the massive decline in pollution and greenhouse gases in China is phenomenal.

How else is the Creator God healing the earth right now?

Who can discern the vast spiritual, emotional and physical healings?   

The Church needs healing.

All of our communities need healing.

All of the nations need healing and words of life.

Pay attention to your new creations.

They are His promptings to you.

He meets you there

and if you listen, He speaks.

We have an opportunity to emerge changed people from this time in isolation.

And so, I wonder...

What new expressions will emerge from this time?

What new expressions will come from you?

Which ones will come from me?

Photo by:  Kristian Niemi