Sunday, June 15, 2014


  Lord, it´s been so long!
Many people have poured themselves out for us!
Praying & loving on us.
I have nothing to tell them.
Sometimes I don´t even want to go out
because everyone asks about her
and I have nothing new or encouraging to say to them.

Nothing has changed.
No breakthrough has come.
No healing, not even forward movement.
We have gone backwards.
We are stuck.
Doctors are telling us they are stymied.
This is Your big chance to shine!
But You are silent. You are still.
I am starting to really dislike Your silence.

People want to help us.
But there is only one thing I need,
one thing I care about,
one thing I go to bed thinking about
and wake up thinking about:
that my daughter would be able to take in nutrition
and move on in the chemo process.
Our friends cannot give me this.
Right now the doctors can´t even give me this.
Only You can give me this.

I believe this is not hard for You.
I believe You love her.
I believe You´ve heard the thousands
of prayers gone up for her.
So why don´t You do something?
Why can´t we see answers?
If You can raise the dead with a word,
Can´t You just resolve the vomiting in my daughter so we can move on?
Do you like hearing the same prayers again & again?
Is there some kind of ¨prayer-o-meter¨ and we haven´t hit the magic number yet?
How long, O Lord?!

We have no other god but You.
For us, You hold the words of life.
If You don´t show up and help us, we are lost.
We will have no hope.
We will be like those who have no faith, no god.
This is Your reputation at stake.
Make Yourself known to those around us, O Lord!

You have met many other needs -
for strength, encouragement, finances, practical help, 
support for my kids and more.
It´s not that there is no thankfulness in my heart.
But there is one main plea on our hearts...
One main request we repeat...
One longing that dominates our minds & prayers...

Please fill the hands that we lift to You,
in our desperation,
in our lament.


  1. There is no way to read those words without shedding tears … of lament, of discomfort, and of hope, Pam! I have been thinking a lot about you and Bruce… you guys are my heroes today and there is no way thinking about you two and not praying … if I don't do that, my heart is calloused and my mind would be out of touch… Please know that we do care, think and pray for you and always wish we could do more … more than we are doing! Peace my friend! May in your desert He bring a stream of refreshing water to your soul!

  2. We are blessed to call you our friend.
    love you guys

  3. We believe You can do this, we are expectant witnesses of Your glory to come (soon please!)

  4. :) I lean on your faith, Mike!

  5. Pam, this is beautiful. Lord, PLEASE take some action on Jenna's behalf.

  6. Thanks, Steph. May it be so.

  7. Levantamos los brazos junto a ustedes y clamamos al Señor!!

  8. when God is in it there is no limit
    when God is in it its not over till God say so

    may you all be covered by the blood of Jesus!

  9. Matt Redman wrote the song "Blessed Be Your Name" because, after watching hundreds of people weeping after 9/11, he realized that we have lots to praise God, but very few ways to lament. And it's so important to pour out our pain and grief to our God. thank you for being willing to share your lament with us. We grieve with you, even when you are dumb and unable to speak out your heart, we join you in the silence. And for your wisdom and humility in embracing the many small graces and bright moments in the week, we thank you for acknowledging His attentiveness over your life, even when he has not given us our largest and most earnest request. His nearness is often our only consolation, but He is a very real comfort.