Saturday, May 2, 2015


Sometimes there are no words...
Just silence.
Or tears.

Time has stopped &
the world around you 
is muffled, dream-like.
You see things, people
and hear them -
but not really.
You want to wake up,
to shake off your trance,
Yet there is a certain safety here.
So you stay in the fog
and wait for words.

You struggle to come up with something that
even comes close to expressing 
the profound chaos of emotion inside.
At times, you don't even struggle
for there are certainly no words for This.
for This Reality that exploded into your world
 & crushed you,
& broke your heart.

For This,
there is only silence
and tears.

Some days I really want words & I painfully piece some together.
Some days other people want words from me & I am sadly mute.
I cannot explain this coming and going of expression
Any more than I can explain or predict
the surging & retreating rhythms of grief.

Please be patient with me
and find an ok-ness with this reality.
Because for This,
there is only silence
and tears.

Photo by:  Ozge Gurer Vatandas, Silence

Comments are welcomed & encouraged.  I have tried to simplify the process so that more of you can join in!


  1. Thinking of you... praying with and for you ... and loving your guys from a distance! Much love from all of us.

  2. I wish there was something I could do to lighten the pain...but I am glad you are writing, when you have it in you. He knows the way you take. You will come forth as gold. Love you. Praying for you.

    1. I know you are always there for me and that is enough.

  3. I am glad you have returned to writing - I have been visiting this page for some time now, and kept checking back, believing that at the right time you would return. God speaks through you, and your words are a blessing. I hope during your own mourning and sadness and grief and doubt that God used others' words to encourage and speak to you. With Love, Alyssa from California

    1. Thanks so much, Alyssa. Your words are so special to me.

  4. I've never met you or your lovely family, Pam, but I've been following your blog and praying for you for over a year now. You've made me think and pray about difficult issues. Whatever you feel able to write, I'll be glad to read! And it helps to know what to pray for .. God bless, Debbie. from the UK

    1. Debbie, Thank You. I don´t know how to thank those of you who don´t even know me & yet have walked this road with us....

  5. Praying for you, Pam, and your dear family.

  6. Replies
    1. Well, I had to look up benison in the dictionary to know what to say...haha. Gracias! you are so dear to me.