Sunday, September 30, 2018


There are so many broken pieces of me.
They have been harshly shattered.
Fractured by wave after wave of grief,
ground into the floor by pain,
covered with darkness by depression,
soaked by tears.

And so there they have lain, distant and disconnected from the few left intact.
Yet occasionally, rays of light penetrated...
They pierced darkness, disregarded the chaos and flittered around pieces like translucent dragonflies.
The tears sparkled and there was a sort of sacred beauty...
I wanted more of that.

Love persistently & steadily shone light down over sharp edges,
Comfort ministered gentle healing,
Hope carefully & respectfully turned over each piece,
studying it, believing it still had a place, a purpose, even a new story.
Grace picked one up and carefully found its original spot.
Against weak protest, it put it in place again with Gilead´s balm.
And slowly, ever so slowly,
Gently, ever so gently,
My broken pieces are being gathered.
They are being healed, are being put into place again.
It is taking so much time - more than I ever thought possible.
More time than a lot of people think it should take.
But healing time is in the hands of the Wonderful Counselor,
of the Good Shepherd, of the One who is near to the brokenhearted.

The Japanese have a surprising art form for mending broken items: Kintsugi ¨golden joinery¨ or Kintsukuroi ¨golden repair.¨  This centuries old art of fixing broken pottery fascinates me in my own brokenness.  When a ceramic piece is broken, it is repaired with a lacquer dusted with gold or with liquid gold. Beautiful seams of gold glint in the cracks of ceramic ware, giving a unique appearance to the piece.  Every repaired piece is unique because of the randomness of the shatters. This practice, this art, highlights and enhances the breaks thus adding value to the broken object.

Wabi-sabi is a world view (of which Kintsugi is a part) and is centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection.  The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is imperfect, impermanent and incomplete.¨  (Welcome to my world!)

Isn´t that stunning? It also sounds like the world view of a God who loves, restores, redeems and heals gently, shows us beauty in the process and then holds us up to the world, saying, ¨Look at this beautiful piece of art! See those broken veins? They are its most valuable part - they are filled with gold!¨ Our scars actually become the showcase piece.

There are so many broken pieces...

Photo: Unknown. Pictured on
Info on Kintsugi from Wikipedia and


  1. Again you speak so deeply into my heart, and into the grief of others, like my daughters, who verbalize their feelings of loss for Sue more clearly than Nicko or I. Their beauty is so much more intricate and woven with gold through the hard things they have been through. In my son I see it more like an oak, which, struck by a great storm, tips but does not fall, and rising up with strength upon strength, grows to something bigger, broader and more obviously grand than the untested trees around it. As for my own heart, the cracks and pains are often too close for me to see or gain any perspective on... Time and distance help with some, but quiet places, music and art sometimes help more with those things I cannot fully bring into focus. Thank you for taking the time to craft these deep expressions, which accumulate more of that gold dust in the cracks of your own soul, and helping us connect to this great Redeemer, who is making beautiful things for his own eternal household to enjoy forever.

  2. I love this, Pam. I've used Kintsugi images when working with incest survivors. You have expressed powerful truth through your lovely poem. Thank you.

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  4. Pam, I’m thanking and praising God for the healing you have been experiencing. Your blog has been a blessing and an encouragement to many as you’ve been so transparent about your process of grieving with God. When the Vine Weeps is one I’ve come back to often. I’ve shared it with others going through suffering. Some receive the promise that the suffering is not in vain with joy and others reject it. Some have asked for me to send it along again. May God in His grace continue to show you His love and care in Christ Jesus as you continue this journey with Him.

  5. Hey, this is a friend of Jordan from his year at HoneyRock...

    I don't know if this is an appropriate place to talk, but I want to get into touch with Jordan. I've looked for him online on and off over the years, and today, I have finally found him!

    You can contact me at

    Thank you so much for maintaining this blog!