I´m so happy to have Dani share a post...a lovely tribute to her big sister!
We are so glad she can be here at this time; she´s been such an encouragement.
Her gaze...
Her contemplative gaze, encompassing the
whirling thoughts, desires, and emotions of her heart. Her distant gaze that reveals only a small fraction
of the overflowing thoughts that go on in her mind and that is more than
my mind can process. Her pensive gaze that reveals, yet
simultaneously hides, the secrets of her soul. Her gaze, that heart wrenching gaze that with
profound desire looks through the glass doors that keep her captive inside the
hospital walls.
Some may think of
her as closed or private, and understandably so, considering the scorching fire
life is putting her through at this time. But she is only closed to those who
have not watched her closely enough, or long enough, or have not simply sat with her, observing
her, looking into her - into her eyes. Her deep-set eyes are a window into her
soul through which she shares many of her deepest secrets. They may not be put
into words, but if you look closely enough, her eyes that are so profoundly marked by many kinds of suffering, say all that needs to be said, tell all that
needs to be told.
Her smile...
A reflection of her humble acceptance of
trying circumstances, blaming no one for her pain. Her smile, completely void of bitterness, overflows
with grace, innocence, and simplicity. Her graceful and hopeful smile humbles
those around her for taking for granted the freedom of life. She does this with oblivion and without
judgment; it is simply the sweetness of her spirit
that brings unknowing conviction.
As we fight
back tears all the way to the hospital and while in the waiting room, she throws
up without ceasing, or is wrenching in pain while we all sit close by unable to
take her pain away - but a smile always follows. Her sweet smile full of acceptance,
forgiveness and hope - and completely void of bitterness.
As we all sit around her talking
animatedly, telling stories, she looks from face to face with wide eyes full of
anticipation, soaking in every word, overcome by the pleasure of being
surrounded by those who love her so deeply, trying to cheer her, being with
her, accompanying her.
Her peace...
Just like the peace seen on the face of a
sleeping baby. Her face, her body language, her voice, her
whole self radiates with a peace that surpasses all understanding – or at least
mine. There is a sweetness about her very being
that no matter how hard I try, I cannot understand; simply watching her sleep
brings immediate tears to my eyes. I cannot wrap my head around the sweetness
that her presence projects.
However, though
peaceful and sweet, it is not weakness. Despite the frailty of her physical
condition and her constant awareness of her lack of energy, there is a deep,
inner strength that she has, that has been given to her from the One above. It
is an animalistic strength that her elegant body disguises, that the sweetness
of her spirit overpowers, and the boldness of her smile, amidst the suffering, camouflages. Yet it is bluntly evident to all those who see her fight for her
life every day.
From
this stems her indescribable beauty. Just as I cannot understand how she can
express such integrity through her smile, her gaze, and retain the hope and the
peace that she does, so I cannot comprehend how someone can be so naturally beautiful
and possess such raw strength. Whether she laughs joyfully, smiles gently, or
cries sorrowfully, whether she is awake or asleep, there is an unfathomable and
indescribable beauty about her presence, one that must come from the One who
abides within her, never leaving nor forsaking her.
For me, Jenna’s
striking beauty and perseverance are a declaration of the glory of God, just as
the heavens and the earth are. The fact that she is a miraculous creation
of art is not a topic up for debate - it is a fact. And here I am,
holding the privilege of being by her side daily, watching her fight
continuously, yet unable to protect her from this pain or take it away from
her. I feel completely unworthy to be the sister of such a stunning, elegant warrior,
but I praise God for this opportunity, and I praise God for allowing me to see
Him through my gorgeous sister who He so beautifully, intricately, and
wonderfully knit together.
I love you, Jenna <3
1st Photo on the beach by: Rachel Donahue
Just touching … great post … great "review" of the Elegant Warrior! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteSomeday your kids will love each other furiously...when they are young and sometimes fight it may seem far away. But trust me, yours and Sinara´s love will be multiplied in them a hundredfold!
DeleteRealmente Jenna es muy bella en todo sentido! Y Aquel que la hizo tan completa, nuevamente obrará con su poder para que vuelva a estar como Él la creó. Abrazos, abrazos, Adriana y Oscar.
ReplyDeleteGracias! Damos gracias a Dios por los hijos que El nos ha dado como Uds también....Abrazos a Uds, Adri y Oscar
DeleteThank you, Dani, for allowing me to see sides of your sister that I do not know, but certainly believed to be true. She is indeed a noble and beautiful warrior. Your love and devotion are obvious in what you have written, but also in the testimony of your bedside faithfulness. Blessings to you, Jenna, your mom and dad and brother.
ReplyDeleteDani, equally amazing and elegant was this gift of love for your sister - how beautiful! We are praying for Jenna, and for all of you regularly. She IS a warrior and I know God must have something extra special for her in the days ahead. Much love to you and your family...
ReplyDeleteWell expressed Dani, we thank God for you, Jenna and your family! May God give grace and strength for each day! besos!
ReplyDelete