ARE YOU SICK OF MY GRIEF?

"He was...a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief."  

Isaiah 53:3

Are you sick of my grief?
Sick of hearing about it, reading about it?
Maybe you think it´s taking an awfully long time for me to recover.
Maybe you just want to see me be well again.
Maybe you´re worried about my kids or my marriage.
Maybe you think I should have been through ¨those stages¨ already.

Or maybe grief makes you uncomfortable.

Maybe you just don´t understand grief.
Especially grief after the loss of a child.
Especially ¨compounded grief.¨*
Or maybe you think Christians should ¨do better at it.¨
Maybe you think I should ¨do better at it.¨
Maybe you want me to hurry up.

Are you sick of my grief?
Do you think I should be happier by now?
Get out more often?
Travel with Bruce more?
Be more involved in all kinds of activities?
Have more capacity by now?

You know what?
I´m sick of my grief, too.

But I have learned on this journey
that there is only one way through grief: straight through it.
There are no short cuts.
No one else can do it for me.
I am the only one who can walk this road.

Another thing I have learned on this journey
is that grief never ends - but it does change.
Being intentional about your grief
and the passing of time does help -
but you will always love and miss that person...
and the memories of them will last a lifetime.

I have been very intentional
And I have been honest with God and others.
I have experienced a lot of healing.
I am not the same person I was.
Nor is any one else in my family.
We are all still trying to figure out who we are.

I have had ups and downs.
I have experienced the proverbial
two steps forward, three steps back
more times than I can count.
I have rolled with all kinds of grief waves
And been swept up in tsunamis.

Yet there has also been beauty discovered
in unexpected places and ways.
There has been love received
that I have not known before.
And there has been hope present
in spite of much darkness.

Everyone says, ¨it takes time.¨
And they´re right.
A lot more time than you think.

So if you're sick of my grief, know this:
grief is love without a place to land.
Deep grief is commensurate with deep love.

My grief only finds a place in the arms of the One
who loved me first and
who knows all these things.
He is not sick of my grief.
He is patient, compassionate and loving.
He is counseling and shepherding me through this journey.
I trust the pace He sets and the places He takes me to.
This Man of Sorrows has entered fully into mine
and I will forever be grateful.

So please trust this process with me;
trust Jesus and I as we walk it together.

"He was...a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief."  

Isaiah 53:3

"He has sent me (Jesus) to bind up the brokenhearted...

to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve..."

from Is. 61:1-3

*Compounded grief refers to multiple losses in a short period of time.

TheGriefJourney.org

Photo by: Sharon Brogran